This post will be sensitive, but it has to be said as a testimony that gives GOD all the glory. It has to be told because GOD can do anything. All things are possible with GOD. Nothing is too hard for HIM.

When I tell you that breaking out of these chains was difficult, it was difficult for me. For you to be involved in these things for years and want to know how to stop doing it is something you need help to do when you feel like you can’t.

I am talking about pornography. And yes, as a woman, especially a young child, got introduced to pornography.

Again, this post differs from what I like talking about, but I want people to know, especially those going through this, that you can’t get out of this on your own.

It is not by your might, not by your power, but by the Spirit of GOD, the power of GOD, that can break these chains. He alone can deliver you.

My story will be told from a Christian perspective since “I grew up in the church”; however, there is no barrier with GOD. He will and can deliver you from all your troubles!

Though I am a Christian, I did not live like a Christ Like Follower.

Television, if I can say, was my idol. I watched TV shows I should not have observed at my age. Even at a young age, this led to watching naked women and inappropriate sexual behavior at a very young age.

It did something to me as I got older, which led me to watch pornography.

Now the weird thing about this is that I disliked pornography. I did, but I can say that an evil spirit was involved. Because I wanted to stop, but I kept going.

If you do not believe in evil spirits as you read this, I implore you to think about this because there is a natural and spiritual world. In the spiritual world or realm, there is GOD, the creator of heaven and earth, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, angels, demons, and many things I believe are true because of my experience. Still, we won’t go there since that differs from what I discuss in this post.

So let’s continue.

So as a little girl, I was molested and involved in sexual immorality. It led to sexual things such as R-rated movies and sexuality, leading me to venture through pornography.

I misunderstood the concept of sex, gender, and the physical body. And the worst thing is I did not tell my parents!

This experience made me feel alone, isolated, guilty, and desired to be wanted in the wrong way. It led to other thought processes, which will be expanded later on.

I was led to value things at a young age that was inappropriate and unhealthy.

As the Bible says, “Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” 3 John 1:2 NLT. I was not prospering or healthy because I was not abiding with the Holy Spirit but my flesh. And these experiences opened doors to demonic spirits and things that were ungodly.

This went on for years. Watching pornography did not occur every time, but I noticed it always happened after watching an anime or when I was upset about something. I would start watching provocative anime, which suddenly led me to other things.

Then after hours of watching, even while I hated my actions. I detested watching it, but I kept watching it. I hated watching it, but something kept me watching it. As I said, an evil spirit was at work.

Every time I watched it, I would confess my sins before GOD, saying I would not do it again. But year after year, it kept happening.

I want to say that you have control over things, but when it gets deeper and deeper, you need help.

Living in a Christian home brought a lot of guilt and shame because I hid this from my family and parents. But God knew, but I was “hiding” from Him, thinking I would not be seen.

One thing that I would like to say regarding this is that you can’t hide from God, which is a good thing because when you are exposed, there is freedom because there is a way to come out of your chains, your guilt, your shame, which God did for me.

Because of pornography, my idea of sex and love was misperceived. I perceived love to be the one thing that would make me happy. Only God is the only one you need; He is the ONLY true LOVE you need.

God will meet ALL your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.

The guilt of watching pornography troubled me so much that I could no longer take it. Then one day, when it happened again, I had to cry out to GOD about this situation.

I poured my heart into Him. I told (more so prayed) GOD I did not want to get upset about a situation that led me to watch filth. I needed HIM to take this away from me. He had to because I could not live like this.

GOD heard my cry because one day, I felt different. I believe something was taken away from me, an evil spirit. GOD worked in me, and I was delivered. Now I do not get upset as much and have stopped watching anime or provocative anime and R-rated movies.

Bless the LORD GOD.

This is to say that whatever you are struggling with, even with pornography, GOD can take it away. It is not IF He can; HE can, and HE will! Jesus Christ, who delivered and healed people from the sick, can and will do the same for you.

Read Mark 9:14-29 to see what I am saying regarding Jesus’s ability to deliver a young boy from a demon that has been with him since he was young. That’s the power of GOD.

I hope this post blessed you in a way that would help you see that you and I have someone that cares and loves you. He does not want you to go through this; He wants to get you out of it so you can be free.

Whom the SON, Jesus Christ, God’s SON, set free is free indeed (John 8:36).

If you want to reach out to me and ask me about the deliverance journey, please do not hesitate to ask. I would happily ask any questions that you may have. And if you need prayer, I would pray with you as well.

Until Next Time.